Stop
bullying us.
All
of us who care about children have to make a decision concerning the way we are
bullied when confronting child protection workers about their behaviour and
their decisions. We have to say stop bullying us.
When
the department tells you that you are a bad parent tell them to stop bullying
you. When you are told that you are not doing enough to have your children
returned to you tell them to stop bullying you. When they are not listening to
you tell them to stop bullying you. When you are working hard to have your
children returned to you and doing everything that the department has asked of
you and they don’t acknowledge what you have done tell them to stop bullying
you. When your past is raised as an issue of concern tell them to stop bullying
you. When you are spoken to in a demeaning manner tell them to stop bullying
you. When you are explaining to them what has been happening for you and they
fail to listen to you tell them to stop bullying you. When you are told to
attend an appointment and it is not convenient for you tell them to stop
bullying you.
I
am sure that you will be able to find other occasions where you could say stop
bullying me. Often we need to find ways to stand up against those who make
unreasonable demands upon us. I understand that often you might feel powerless,
hopeless and helpless. That you might need to think a little about what is
happening to you at that particular time, take a deep breath, and consider what
you need to say that is going to make you feel empowered. It is possible for
you to gain your power back without yelling or denigrating others. You can use well-chosen
words which informs others of how you are feeling.
My
point is, that under no circumstances should you be feeling manipulated or
controlled by anyone. It is your right to have a voice, to be heard and for
your feelings to be acknowledged. Anyone who ignores these rights needs to be
told that they should stop bullying you.
I
understand the conflict and pressure most parents experience when they are
confronted by a child protection worker. The most natural response is to be
aggressive and to feel angry. Because aggression is an unhealthy response we
need to find other ways to respond to the behaviours of others that enhances
our feelings and makes them aware of how their behaviour has affected you. In
many cases, the person you are addressing may not care about how you feel or
the impact their behaviour has on you. There will be some people however, who
will hear what you have to say and will modify their behaviour accordingly.
It
is not as simple as telling someone to stop bullying you. You need to think
about how you will respond if that person asks you what they were doing that
was bullying you. You therefore need to be aware of the behaviour of that
person and how that behaviour made you feel. To best prepare yourself for using
this strategy, think about times when you have been confronted by behaviour
that has caused you to feel bullied. Now think about how to describe that
behaviour. Think about a range of feeling words that would describe how that
behaviour made you feel. Once you have done this you are then armed with an
appropriate tool to confront the unreasonable behaviour of the worker.
See the video
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