Stop Bullying Me

Stop bullying us.

All of us who care about children have to make a decision concerning the way we are bullied when confronting child protection workers about their behaviour and their decisions. We have to say stop bullying us.

When the department tells you that you are a bad parent tell them to stop bullying you. When you are told that you are not doing enough to have your children returned to you tell them to stop bullying you. When they are not listening to you tell them to stop bullying you. When you are working hard to have your children returned to you and doing everything that the department has asked of you and they don’t acknowledge what you have done tell them to stop bullying you. When your past is raised as an issue of concern tell them to stop bullying you. When you are spoken to in a demeaning manner tell them to stop bullying you. When you are explaining to them what has been happening for you and they fail to listen to you tell them to stop bullying you. When you are told to attend an appointment and it is not convenient for you tell them to stop bullying you.

I am sure that you will be able to find other occasions where you could say stop bullying me. Often we need to find ways to stand up against those who make unreasonable demands upon us. I understand that often you might feel powerless, hopeless and helpless. That you might need to think a little about what is happening to you at that particular time, take a deep breath, and consider what you need to say that is going to make you feel empowered. It is possible for you to gain your power back without yelling or denigrating others. You can use well-chosen words which informs others of how you are feeling.

My point is, that under no circumstances should you be feeling manipulated or controlled by anyone. It is your right to have a voice, to be heard and for your feelings to be acknowledged. Anyone who ignores these rights needs to be told that they should stop bullying you.

I understand the conflict and pressure most parents experience when they are confronted by a child protection worker. The most natural response is to be aggressive and to feel angry. Because aggression is an unhealthy response we need to find other ways to respond to the behaviours of others that enhances our feelings and makes them aware of how their behaviour has affected you. In many cases, the person you are addressing may not care about how you feel or the impact their behaviour has on you. There will be some people however, who will hear what you have to say and will modify their behaviour accordingly.

It is not as simple as telling someone to stop bullying you. You need to think about how you will respond if that person asks you what they were doing that was bullying you. You therefore need to be aware of the behaviour of that person and how that behaviour made you feel. To best prepare yourself for using this strategy, think about times when you have been confronted by behaviour that has caused you to feel bullied. Now think about how to describe that behaviour. Think about a range of feeling words that would describe how that behaviour made you feel. Once you have done this you are then armed with an appropriate tool to confront the unreasonable behaviour of the worker.

 See the video

Being Still and Listening

When I first used the internet it was the early nineties and I used a modem that took the length of the desk and pinged loudly as I dialed the number of a University in Iceland. I can't remember how we came to contact Iceland in particular, but I do remember that it was an exciting time. The computer screen was a green mono which pumped out asci text in a granulated form. Not long after that WYSIWIG began to impose itself through the first internet browser Mosaic. I am not attempting to give you a history lesson in the internet and its evolution but when I look at where it is twenty five years later I am amazed. Back then we could never have imagined that I would be able to sit here and type into a program which could easily be read by anyone who had a computer or even more amazing, a phone.

With the technology and all that it offers there is one further observation I would like to make. Everyone now has a voice. It use to be that those who shouted the loudest would be the only one's heard. To some extent that is still true but those who are a little shy and don't feel confident shouting are now able to express themselves and have the world take notice. All of these people have something to say. They can, not only be heard, but they can influence what other people may think, or they can create a discussion which includes thousands of people who wouldn't ever have participated in the past.

As these plethora of ideas manifest themselves throughout cyber-space we are faced with the negative impact of ideas which foster a particular volume of hate and fear. I support notions of free speech but when that freedom is used to denigrate another person en masse I must object. With this new found freedom we have not learnt to treat each other with respect. The horror which is bred through "freedom if thought" has morphed into a cacophony of hate and fear which spreads like a virus.

The challenge now is to build a wall of resistance to all that confronts us which denigrates and humiliates others. We have all sat back and watched the tidal wave of opinion cascade upon us. The time has come to monitor the impact on our communities to dispel the hatred and fear and present a voice which looks for positive change and celebrates the bravery which is integral to the human soul.

When I slide though my Facebook pages I notice the resentment and the negativeness which governs the embedded thinking of those who feed my page with prejudice and ignorance. I often object so strongly to some of the posts that I unfriend those people immediately. However, I also understand that benefit of maintaining some of those connections because they inform me about the community with whom I wish to communicate.

Recently I read a report that stated that the best way to confront bigoted thinking is to have the protagonist spend ten minutes with the person they are denigrating. Conversely it is also true that if we want to understand the negativity which exudes from some of these people we need to listen to what they have to say. It is through the context of people's lives that we will better understand them. The challenge then is to engage with people no matter how much we may disagree with their point of view.

It is important these days to wonder about what informs thinking and what facts support what is being offered.

Yes, we are being bombarded with opinions and ideas from those who were once voiceless. The wall of resistance is not about pushing back, it is something completely different.

We need to be still and LISTEN.

What is "wrong" with politics in Australia

What is "wrong" with politics in Australia.

I could begin by being blatantly aggressive and say "everything". However, when I look at other countries I consider that as bad as our political system is it probably isn't as destructive as some. There is a mood of community unrest with our political system. Or is it something else? Perhaps it is the way the 'have nots" are relegated to the "never going to have" category and that people are becoming uncomfortable with the prospect that they will never achieve financial security, they will never own a home, they will never be able to send their children to the best schools, that they will have to retire on very little income, that they have been forgotten and discounted by their representatives.

The disdain for politicians is based on the politicians lack of engagement. Most people couldn't tell you who their local Federal and State members are. Until an election is on the horizon do they appear, to tell us how brilliant they have been and what policies they are now presenting that we need to accept as being the latest best thing for "us all". They fail to tell us that there real interests lie with their base, those who will vote for them no matter what they say or do, or a survey states that the electorate will vote for a particular issue because of the electorates demographics.

The days are limited where a politician can warm the political seat and provide very little community engagement. We should be demanding more from our politicians. We should be communicating with them about those issues which concern us, better education for our kids, increase in the minimal wage, better health care services, our views on immigration and unemployment etc. The problem is that many people are not concerned enough until an issue directly impacts them.

The Child Protection Party is aware that it isn't until a child is removed that parents realise the implication government policies and those enacting those policies have on their lives. We live in a world of complacency and ignorance which prevents us from taking action in ways which will determine how our lives are going to be impacted. We are self-centred, egocentric and void of the impact the decisions of politicians have on our lives. We have in the past accepted the status quo, the notion that we have to accept what is dished out to us because the insignificant have no resources to fight back. No one cares. I am don't matter.

We then have the rise of the special interest emotive parties. Those who play to the fears that are embedded in so many of us but lays dormant until we are told that it is in our best interest to present our uniqueness by disrespecting those whom we identify as being different. These politicians are as insignificant as those who present us with blandness, right and left politics. Yet it is this brand of politics which receives the coverage further fueling their influence and power.

What we need is a new political movement which focusses on the potential that exists in all of us, a party which represents the best in people regardless of where you come from. A party which confronts the power differential and provides a voice to those who feel powerless. We need a party such as the Child Protection Party which is dedicated to Fairness, Equity and Transparency. A party where politics is not about special interest groups, party allegiances,  nor personal gain but is about the concerns of the voiceless.

I was watching "Question Time" recently and reflected on how abusive our politicians are of each other. I know that to a large extent this is a show. Later on in the evening many of them will be joking about what was said in parliament about the other. Does this mean that the rugged Aussie needs to witness political combatants verbally bashing each other so that we can feel represented. If we witnessed this behaviour in a school yard we would be appalled. What ever happened to a sensible debate based on facts rather than verbally assaulting the other. Fortunately not many people I know watch question time but it does tell us how our politicians view their roles. They see themselves as having to defend their version of the "holy grail". To do otherwise would be seen as weak and ineffectual.

The Child Protection Party confronts all these stereotypes by presenting an alternative. The alternative is non-combative in the conventional sense. We are not going to name-call and denigrate others so that we can feel superior or powerful. We have one mission and that is to represent all our constituents and colleagues with dignity and respect regardless of how you choose to respond to us. We will never compromise our principles. We will always be present to make sure that your views are represented. If we disagree with your views because they are different to ours we will accept that, and we will respect you for those views. We will listen to you but we in turn expect you to listen to us.

There is a new player on the block. We are determined to make a difference. Join us.

Social Justice and Social Work in Child Protection

I often wonder about the degree that Social Workers consider Social Justice when it comes to working with parents and children. There is no doubt that, on most occasions, they are aware of the impact poor parenting has on children and the long term detrimental effects. What I am not aware off is the conversation they have relating to where people come from and what informs parents thinking and behaviour.

The degree by which we can understand anyone is determined by the effort we put into understanding them. This includes our ability to ask questions which demonstrate a genuine interest because it is important to their well-being for us to understand the texture of their life. As Social Workers it is our role to direct people into pathways which are constructive and will enhance lives. It matters not that we are focussed solely on the well being of a child, what is important is that those who interact with that child have been, listened to, heard and understood. We should never preclude those who have an active role in a child's life.

"The social work profession:

promotes justice and social fairness, by acting to reduce barriers and to expand choice and potential for all persons, with special regard for those who are disadvantaged, vulnerable, oppressed or have exceptional needs

advocates change to social systems and structures that preserve inequalities and injustice." AASW Code of Ethics 2010

 To what extent do Social Workers provide "special regard for those who are disadvantaged, vulnerable, oppressed or have exceptional needs"? I am concerned that within Child Protection this aspect of Social Work becomes lost in the mire of the work and the pressures exerted by those who are interested in the politics of Child Protection compared to the politics of a person's life. To acknowledge the injustices and inequalities which impact a person's life provides a unique opportunity to walk alongside them and to empathise with them.

I have attended many child protection meetings where there has been the opportunity to explore a person's experiences but it is ignored. By ignoring a person's experiences we are telling them that they don't matter, that we don't care - our agenda is more important than they are.

The injustices people feel are often deeply ingrained. Removing a child is extremely emotive and is encased in a sense of unfairness, injustice and judgmentalism. To mitigate this as best as possible we need to understand what this means to the parent and the connections this has in their lives where they have had these feelings tested over and over again. We all need to understand the impact these feelings have on parents and that this often determines behaviours and how we choose to respond to people who harbor these feelings.

Feelings don't sit in isolation, separate from other experiences. They are enshrined in our beliefs which are determined by our experiences. If a person has experienced childhood abuse it is reasonable for us all to expect them to have a strong sense of unfairness. It wasn't fair that they were treated as they were when they were growing up. The child in them is still confused by the continual injustice perpetrated against them. They still feel like the abused child yet as adults should have a voice amongst other adults, but they don't. They are often still treated like they were as a child, not heard and misunderstood. So they fight back in the only way they know, with aggression fed by their anger.

I don't find any of this hard to comprehend but I suspect that many who work in the area of child protection never consider these nuances. Understanding this would help workers to better communicate with clients which would in turn produce more cooperative and beneficial outcomes.

The notion of Social Justice and Fairness seems to be lost on those who work with the most disadvantaged in our community. In order to provide significant change we have to change the way we view the problem. Social Workers need to build trust and respect. The sometimes vile responses from clients is often challenging but is only the presentation of deeper, more significant issues which are crying out to be recognised and addressed. When a worker takes a defensive stance they are buying into the client's version of all authority figures. The client feels blamed and denigrated, which is the lifelong pattern.

Social Workers need to understand the power they wield and how it is operationalised. Used as a tool to control and have authority over another will always be viewed through the lens of "injustice". I know that the interpretation of "power" is not the fault of the worker, but if acknowledged by the worker, it may help to build a better relationship rather than the flagrant wielding of it.

We should all acknowledge the injustices in people's lives and work to ensure that we don't add to the stockpile.

What is the "rotten culture" of the child protection system?

The question we need to be asking ourselves at this important time, of reevaluation and naval gazing concerning child protection not only in the state of South Australia but nationally is, "how 'rotten' is the culture, who is responsible for it and whether it is likely to change?" What we also need to wonder about is whether parents and particularly children will benefit from these changes?

What I find the most frustrating is that what we are being told now is not new and didn't need an expensive inquiry to tell us what those outside of the department have known for years. Someone just had to ask. If management are blind to change, refuse to admit that they have failed and continue to do what they have always done, and we continue with the same management philosophy and mindset then we are going to reap the same. So now that it is official old knowledge what can we expect from the same people who constructed the debacle in the first place? The sad response has to be - not very much.

Nyland states "that a culture of arrogance, mistrust, bullying and dishonesty is endemic with the department." When one considers this statement you have to doubt the decision making process which has taken kids from families, placed them in unsuitable foster families or kinship care. A culture that is based in mistrust and bullying is going to manipulate decisions which impact the wellbeing of children for the rest of their lives. No one is taking responsibility for the damage done by the creation of a department that is more dysfunctional than the families they should be working with. I don't see Premier Weatheral or Minister Close admitting to the disaster they have created because they failed to understand the dynamics of the Child Protection System and the role of those they chose to manage it.

It is evident from the Nyland report that social workers were critical of the way they are managed and viewed by management. I find it difficult to understand why social workers blame the Department for the poor decisions that are made by others. Recently I was at a meeting where a client was informed that the DCP were applying for an 18 year order on four children. This was a poor decision and I believe the Social Worker knew this but she was simply doing what her manager had told her. As Nyland stated "Workers feel they are heavily managed from a high level, particularly by executives who micromanage casework decisions and do not give sufficient weight to the professional expertise held by staff." I can understand that a young social worker may not have the courage to make a stand against a superior. I do wonder how the young Social Worker advocated for the parent if she was feeling intimidated by her manager. The decision this social worker was delivering was not only unnecessary but it was going to harm the children concerned. The children were going to be removed from their grandmother and will be placed in foster care where they are likely to be separated. The decision is plainly wrong and at odds with the work the mother has been doing, but the decision to separate this family forever was made by those who were not working with the family. I can cite many examples where this has occurred. If Social Workers want to be taken seriously then they have to make a stand for their Professional ethics and back their Professional decisions. Social Workers allow themselves to become the victim here, at the expense of the children.

Nyland states that "nothing has changed". For us to have the expectation that it will change is naive and is not borne out by past behaviours. That those who know very little about cases are making decisions that impacts people's lives and the lives of their offspring is a matter of great concern and requires all of us to protest in the strongest possible terms.

What allows those who know nothing to make the decisions about everything is predicated on the notion that there will never be any recourse. The facelessness of those making the decisions makes it almost impossible to discover the decision maker. It is easier to blame the person at the front line than it is to blame the person who approved the decision or influenced it. It is a culture of anonymity, where those responsible for the failure of the system will never be named nor held accountable.

Let's not lay the blame solely at the feet of management. As mentioned above it is the duty of every Social Worker to take responsibility for their own ethical practice. My experience has been that Social Workers, often young, believe that they know all there is to know about the profession once they have completed their two placements and graduated. The truth is that they know very little about the profession and how they should behave and the responsibility they have to their profession. Very few are members of the AASW.

Two years ago the Department implemented Strength Based Casework as their model of practice. In my view SBC represented a solid approach to Social Work and at least gave a solid framework from which to work. Soon after its introduction I asked CPS Social Workers what they thought of the new program. All of them told me that it was "Social Work 101". Nyland notes that Social Workers referred to CBS as "common sense social work", which validates my experience. What this told me was that they had no idea what SW 101 was but it was clear that they were not prepared to work differently because, as limited as their experiences were, they "knew it all". The first rule of Social Work is that "You will never know it all." Because they believe that they are the fountain of all that is Social Work, they will never learn from their mistakes, they will never view bad decisions as being damaging to children, they will always defend poor decision making. They will never be capable of looking backwards and learning from their mistakes. This is the culture of naivete.

It is fascinating that the major criticism offered in relation to the use of SBC was that it focussed more on the family than the children and therefore put the children at risk. One would have thought that the focus on family and making sure children are safe within their family is a noble objective. What does this tell us about the mindset of Social Workers when they see this as an unhelpful aspect of the program?

We know what the "rotten culture" is, the big question is who has the courage to change it?

Why the Child Protection Party is so important

The Child Protection Party is the most important change on the political landscape for many years. You may be wondering how that is possible with the advent of the Greens, One Nation, the Justice Party and all the other fringe parties lurking around the perimeter of politics. There is no doubt that the competition for positions is great and the enthusiasm by all the minor parties to have a place at the table is hotly contested. Then there is off course the two major parties and what they present that keeps us all fastened to the "two-party system" which has kept us amused for over a century.

The Child Protection Party have a commitment to the well-being of all children. All other political parties play lip-service to the idea that children are important and that services must be provided which will improve their future. What the "others" fail to realise is that unless we seek solutions to the number of children being abused in and out of "care" nothing is ever going to change. In the meantime we are placing our children at risk of harm and are establishing a future which continues to ignore the rights of children to grow up feeling safe and secure.

The challenge is to give every child a voice within a system which refuses to acknowledge the part a healthy child will play in the future of our country. As the population ages we will be dependent on the good-will of those who have the power to determine the conditions in which the older generation lives. As we pass on the authority and power to the young we can only hope that they have the compassion and understanding to produce a way of life which is commensurate with the values we have given them. If we ignore the potential that lies in each child we are condemning future generations to the misery that besets those who have suffered at the hands of adults.    

It is imperative that we recognise the pending damage which may be caused by ignoring the needs of the young. Our societal duty is to acknowledge that we must all do what we can to ensure a bright future exists for all children regardless of the country they are born in or the socio-economic environment they live.

We must understand that we have the power to encourage their parents to be better parents. We have the power to teach those who have not been shown how to parent, to parent. We have the power to show parents that they are damaging their children and that they have an opportunity to do better. We have the power not to judge. Above all, we have the power to believe in those who don't believe in themselves.

Together we can make a difference that will change the way we view children and the people that raise them. We can find the gems that sit within everyone and bring them to light. We can no longer sit back and hope that "it will all get better", like a whimsical dream.

This is the time to take action by joining with the Child Protection Party so that together we can all make a difference.

Child Protection Week - May we never forget

Child Protection Week is a time to reflect on what a good child protection system should look like and whether the key stakeholders are equipped to make the changes needed. Each year children die in care or die because they slip through the cracks or have been ignored by a system which continually fails to correct its own dysfunctionality.

This is a week when we should remember those who have experienced out-of-home placements. Those who have been removed from families who have failed to parent their children with care and love. We shall remember those who have been emotionally, physically and sexually abused by a system which doesn't understand the experiences of children and the trauma caused by the removal from their biological parents. We will remember all those children who have been failed by a system which replaces "bad parenting" with poor guardianship.

We all know that children are the most vulnerable members of our community, they have to be protected by responsible adults but one has to wonder who are the responsible adults making decisions about what is in the best interest of the child. How can so many "responsible adults" get it wrong on so many occasions? Why do we as a society allow our politicians to escape rebuke? Why do we allow these self-serving individuals to continue their reign of terror over our children?

As a community we need to celebrate "Child Protection Week" by making a stand against decisions which we view as damaging our children. We need to use this week as a way to become committed to the cause of protecting our children. As the founder of the Child Protection Party I speak to many people each week concerning the removal of their children. I am not here to suggest that all these people are blameless when it comes to parenting their children. I have worked with many parents where the removal of their children was justifiable. However in each case the parents and the children need a voice. I have also seen parents turn their lives around and make significant changes which would justify the return of their children but be denied this opportunity because of their past.

Child Protection Week should celebrate those parents who have made the changes necessary. We should also acknowledge that those parents were not responsible for the way they were parented. We all should fight for the right of each parent to change. We should acknowledge that drug abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse and sexual abuse should not form any part of a child's life. During this week we should make a stand against all forms of abuse and tell those we know who are disrespecting their children that this has to stop. We first need to look within our own home and ensure that we are doing what we are telling others to do.

Our responsibility to children is to celebrate their "right" to be respected and loved in ways which makes them feel valued. It is incumbent upon all of us who are taking up this fight to be acting in ways which support the values we espouse. It is the height of hypocrisy to be abusive of others and then to advocate that children should be safe. The moment we are putting someone down or modeling behaviour that would be seen as abusive of a child we are no better then the abuser. I know it sounds a little self-righteous, but if we fail to express the values which underpin our cause then we are no different from our detractors.

Child Protection Week should be a celebration of the "rights" of the child. These rights should be enforced by everyone who works and lives with children.